She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
She writes:

Dear Grand-son,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just came from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.
Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!
While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon.
Love,

Grandma

Passing this subject could be the difference between life and death.

You may have figured out that I am re-posting some articles I have previously written regarding driver education. The way the articles orginally panned out, I had mixed the winter driving tips with the second section of “Driver Training” This post concludes the tips for supervising your teen’s driving by introducing some practices you want to avoid.

When speaking of driver education in terms of “Do’s” and “Don’ts”, I am sure some of you parents thought to yourselves, “Do hire a professional and Don’t expect me to teach my teen.” Likewise, there were a few teens who thought, “Do hire an instructor so you Don’t have to yell.” Hopefully, by the end of the article, you considered the possibility that you could, in fact, survive the drive together.

Starting out on a positive note, let’s review the “Do’s”:

Do start with a prayer—even atheists consider prayer when riding with a new driver
Do remain calm—A nervous driver makes mistakes; a calm driver makes fewer mistakes
Do pull over for discussion—I can’t keep my eyes on the road if I have to look at you when you are talking.
Do give positive reinforcement—The mistakes will be obvious, your new driver really needs to hear about what was done correctly.
Do know your teen’s personality—Every person is unique. Teach in a way that is well suited for your teen to learn.
Do enjoy your time together—Tell a joke, dodge a tree, have fun!
Do leave your problems at home—Keep your focus on the task of driving.

Any good “Do’s and Don’ts” list has to have a section of Don’ts. As you train with your teen in the car, avoid the following common mistakes:

Don’t overload your teen. Focus on specific actions to meet specific objectives. For instance, your first session should establish smooth braking, smooth acceleration, and smooth steering. If you are practicing these on private property (as you should), you will not need to emphasize lane management or signaling just yet.

Don’t overload yourself. Pace yourself, you have plenty of time. Sessions should range from 60 to 90 minutes in length. Two hours is too much. Start in low speed/low traffic areas and work your way up.

Don’t get in the car without a plan. You need to know three things before you start:
1. Where are you driving?
2. What skills are you developing?
3. What minimum amount of time are you spending on each skill?

Having said that, your plan should be flexible. Your initial plan acts as a basis for change. If your driver is not ready to practice lane changes, change your plan and work on the preceding essentials.

Don’t keep your plan to yourself. Let your driver know what you intend to practice up front. In another sense, give directions early. Nobody wants surprises on the road; not you nor your teen. A last second, “turn left here” command will inevitably result in a poorly executed left turn into oncoming traffic. It may also require a change of clothes when you get home. Do everyone a favor and give directions early.

Keep these things in mind as you provide your state required 30, 40, or 50 hours of supervised driving. You will still see some grey hairs, but you should also be able to enjoy yourself and strengthen your relationship with your teen.

For more information about parent involvement in driver education and training, I reccommend the National Driver Training Institute; the nation’s premier home-study driver education program.

Passing this subject could be the difference between life and death.

This article was previously posted on my “fun” blog. A litte site maintenance and BAM, I have a serious side too!

Author’s note: Although the bulk of my blog is devoted to recognizing absurdity in today’s culture, life is not all fun and games. Most of my daylight hours are spent in the serious field of driver education. I work with a company that certifies driver education at home. Tragically, we (the United States) have lost thousands upon thousands of teens in motor vehicle collisions. The most important factor in preventing teen collisions and fatalities is parent involvement. In the interest of encouraging parent participation and thereby reducing teen collisions, this article introduces some tips for parents working with thier teens. Mom and Dad, don’t be afraid–You can do it!

Driver training can be pretty scary stuff. I have been in the traffic safety industry for almost 12 years, and I can tell you stories that would make you jump out of your socks. Since obtaining my own driver license almost 20 years ago, I have made it a practice to avoid certain behaviors like driving in lanes designated for oncoming traffic, turning left on red-lights, or zooming through schools zones in excess of 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. Unfortunately, while avoiding these behaviors seems perfectly natural and logical to me, some of the students I have taught do not (initially) feel the same way. Of course, the purpose of driver training is to create safe habits and eliminate dangerous behaviors; in my line of work, some initial measure of unsafe driving is expected—hence the grey hair.

Sometimes parents come to me, whether for training or advice, because they feel overwhelmed by the task of teaching their child in the car. The concerns are pretty consistent, “I need to teach my teen, but I don’t want to die. What can you do to help me?” I am writing this column to address some of the uneasiness that you (as a parent or a teen) may feel about driver training.

Allow me to give you some assurance. First, permits are good (by permit, I am referring to the learner’s permit, instruction permit, driving permit or whatever other designation you may choose). I rarely give advice regarding obtaining a license, but I always counsel families that the permit to drive is a necessary, beneficial, and positive step forward in preparing your adolescent for the responsibility of adulthood. Obtaining a permit is truly a win-win-win situation for the teen, the parent, and the community. In the teen’s eyes, it is an earnest of the freedoms of adulthood that shows parental trust and confidence. From the parent’s perspective it is preparation for the teen’s adult responsibilities, permission to get the teen on the road, and a great motivator for obedience until the young adult moves out. To the community in general, the permit is a contract between the parent and the state that guarantees the new driver will stay off their lawns; the new driver will meet minimum standards for driving and that the parents will meet minimum standards of instruction. Your eyes do not deceive you; the government expects parents to participate in the driver training process.

While the degree to which you must participate varies from state to state, all states expect a measure of parental involvement. They may or may not supplement that parental involvement with professional instruction, but study after study shows the importance of parental involvement in the driver training process and states are listening.

A standard feature in our teaching process includes the use of videos (although we avoid gory presentations). I want to show you a video about current trends in driver licensing, but you will have to wait—if you leave now you will miss some good stuff. . .

Your second assurance, moms and dads are uniquely well qualified to teach their teens. Although there are a few exceptions (like a parent who does not possess a driver license) most parents’ driving resumes would include such qualifications as:

20+ years of driving including: night driving, winter driving, driving in heavy traffic, collision avoidance
15+ years of personal coaching and counseling with the individual to be trained
Intimate familiarity with the vehicle to be driven
Familiarity with the roadways to be driven

When you think about it that way, you can be pretty impressed with yourself. How much would you pay an instructor with the same credentials? No one knows your teen, your car, and your neighborhood better than you. You can do this! With that said, I have some advice to help you along the journey to safe driving habits. We just met, so I am going to keep things positive. Here are some things you want to do:

Do start your session with a prayer.

You both have expectations and you both probably have some trepidation. Invite God to join you in the instruction to provide divine guidance and protection.

Do remain calm.

Your teen driver is already nervous; even if he or she is not showing it. If you appear nervous, you will increase your teen’s anxiety and a nervous wreck is still a wreck. My informal survey reveals that the number one fear of teens is, “mom or dad will yell at me.” The number one parent fear is, “I am going to die or end up in the hospital.” Both of these fears are legitimate. Every time you ride with your teen, affirm the following contract, “I will not yell at you in the car if you will do exactly what I say when I say it.” If you feel you have to yell, pull-over and get out of the car.

Another strategy to reduce nervousness relies on risk management. Our instructors and our curriculum reduce risk by controlling the environment in which we drive. Individuals who have never driven before must practice in a parking lot before they may move on to public streets. A good way to manage risk is to limit driving according to speed. Private property, such as a parking lot, will typically have a speed limit of 10 mph. The new driver should stay in 10 mph conditions until he or she can drive as well as the supervising parents under the same conditions. Once the driver demonstrates enough proficiency to alleviate mom or dad’s fears, graduate to speeds in the 20’s (residential streets). Stay in the 20’s until your teen earns the right to drive in the 30’s . . . and so on until you cover all speeds. If mom or dad is nervous to move to the next level, the driver should not yet graduate out of the current level.

Do pull-over in a discussion

Driving requires a lot of attention in a lot of different places already. If you try to impress an important point on your new driver, the driver must either take some critical attention from the task of driving, or miss what you are trying to say. Have the student pull-over. In this way you emphasize that what you have to say is important and you emphasize that driving without distraction is important. Pulling-over frequently may also help you remain calm (our first “Do”).

Do give positive reinforcement.

Obviously your teen will make some mistakes when learning to drive. I don’t think I need to tell you to correct them. Many instructors, however, forget to reinforce the successes. Make the effort to reinforce good performance with affirmations like, “good smooth braking” or, “great turn.” Positive reinforcement lets your teen know you see improvement. It also reduces your teen’s anxiety (remember the fear of being yelled-at).

Do know your student’s personality.

If you have observed more than one child, you know that each of your children has a unique personality. Work with your teen according to his or her level of maturity, learning ability, and physical coordination.

Do enjoy your time together.

Yes, learning to drive can actually be fun! The teen years pre-packaged with a certain level of tension for each teen. Driving is a golden opportunity to share humor, tell stories of your own learning years, and work together on the common goal of your teen’s success in the car. By the way, positive reinforcement will greatly increase your chances of enjoying your time together.

Do leave your problems at home.

Focus on the task of driving and don’t introduce problem topics like chores, homework, or that troublesome friend down the street. Remember that an emotional wreck is still a wreck. If either the parent or the teen is having a bad day and giving a bad attitude, skip the lesson that day.

Part 2 of this series will introduce some “Don’ts”. In the future I will cover more practical in-car applications and update you on current legislative trends in driver education.

For more information about driver education or the National Driver Training Institute, please visit www.USDriverTraining.com or call toll free 1-800-942-2050.

Earlier, I promised you a video. The production I have posted for you is called Young Drivers: the High Risk Years. Although this is a serious and sober documentary, I promise there is nothing gross or gratuitously shocking. This film is fairly family friendly. It describes the main risks to young drivers and the kinds of measures that the government and families must take to keep young drivers alive. To view the video, direct your browser to:

www.USDriverTraining.com/DriverEdColumn.php